Style,  Wellness

Why you need to stop looking for external validation?

Why you need to stop looking for external validation? And how to start validating yourself.

There’s all this talk about being SEEN. But seen by who? 

Let’s talk about it. And why you need to stop looking for external validation – not later, but now.

Do you find yourself looking for constant external validation, or do you rely on internal validation? 

If you are always looking for external validation, it is time that you start validating yourself to yourself and not wait for it to come from others. When you look to others for validation you are ultimately placing your healing and self-esteem in the hands of someone else.

Are you constantly:

Doing things to be seen by others for proof that you are valuable?

Dress in clothing that you believe will get the attention of others?

Solely look to be encouraged by others on what you should or shouldn’t do?

Place the opinion, approval, or recognition of someone else above your own?

Make someone else’s feelings more valid than your own?

If you answered yes to any of these, then let’s discuss how you can start validating yourself. The problem is that you are carrying heavy burdens and shame within your body from the past. It is also possible that you were not respected and recognized in your youth, and now this plays out in your life as an adult. By looking for others to validate you, you’re hurting yourself more. You are showing yourself that you don’t have value unless someone else recognizes your value. The most important thing is that you SEE yourself. And by you SEEING YOU others will have no choice but to SEE YOU TOO. 

When you work on yourself internally you are validating the fact that you are responsible for your own healing. You are taking matters into your own hands because you are aware of the power that lives inside of you. And that no one can take this away from you unless you give them permission to.

Let’s take all of this in.

Validating yourself will look like:

Feeling worthy and not giving others permission to treat you less than you deserve.

Always doing your best even when you don’t feel like you are at your best.

Noticing and accepting your feelings as valid.

Prioritizing your needs and setting boundaries that are aligned with your needs.

Being kind to yourself and doing what makes you feel good daily.

Trusting yourself and your decisions.

I teach my clients that it’s not about validating or being seen in your style – it’s about being TRUE to who you are in your style. Self-validation will come to you naturally because you are focused on cultivating high self-esteem and boosting your confidence. And you are always in the act of self-love.

If you want to learn more about how you can develop a style that creates self-validation and cultivates self-worth, let’s schedule a consultation call

What is one way that you will start validating yourself today? Write in your journal what you love and admire about yourself. Use them as positive statements to affirm positive things to yourself daily.

I hope this helps someone today.